Paris Pipe Dream

"I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine
the same things that lunatics imagine when awake."
Rene Descartes

I'm not a French philosopher, but will humbly admit the great French
philosopher and I are on the same page when it comes to dreams.

Half the time, I don't remember my dreams -- mostly made up of
mundane activities and people I barely know.
  Those dreams are easily forgotten, but others -- particularly
those of Paris -- give me fresh inspiration in the light of morning.
Sometimes I think surely they're just daydreams, wishful thinking
plain and simple, a yearning for my beloved city.

Dreams count for something.
 They're often the spark, the madness,
that keep us motivated to return again and again.

To prepare your mind for GOOD dreams, here's a short list
guaranteed to smooth the way for enchanted imaginings
in full Paris color night after night.

Mr. Sandman, listen up!

Begin each dream with the thought:
"On my next trip to Paris, I'll have enough time to....."

-Try every single pastry at Gerard Mulot, starting with the chocolate tart in the
top left hand corner and ending with a coffee macaron.

-See everything in the Louvre.  Everything.

-Master the language or at least be able to take part in a typical student
debate about the difference between 1968 political unrest and today.....

- Identify every French king in the order of his reign.

- Write a deep and absorbing novel at the Café Le Select.

-Taste every single flavor of Berthillon ice cream.

- Take the Metro every day for a year without needing to change
at Châtelet or Gare du Nord.

- Vélib' fearlessly, never stressing over the threat of instantaneous death.

- Schlep every single bridge - at least twice.

- Enjoy leisurely walks in all 20 arrondissements, forming an
 opinion on the best local wine shop, florist and fromagerie in each.

- Figure out how to get inside the Hotel de Ville
(most people have figured this out but I can't seem to crack the code).

Other dreams range from the improbable to the outrageous:


- Inherit enough €€ to buy a wardrobe of outrageous undies from Cadole.

- Fly a jet over the Champs-Elysées during the Bastille Day Parade.

-  Purchase a 1-bedroom apartment in The Elegance of the Hedgehog building.

- Win a $10,000 gift card from La Dernier Goutte wine store.

- Sing at The Opera, then boogie the banana dance at the Folies Bergere.

- Swim in a tub of chocolat chaud from Jacques Genin.

- Catherine Deneuve calls to ask "Who does your hair?"

- Throw an intimate little dinner party -- and only
Jean Dujardin, Romain Duris and Gilles Marini show up.

- Draw a crowd at a book signing at Shakespeare & Company.

- Rollerblade on Friday night - fast, faster, fastest - with the pros.

- Beam as Eric Kayser launches a new sandwich -- named after me.

- Remember to kiss from left to right (or is it right to left?)

- Demonstrate how to tie a scarf at Hermès.

- Climb to the top of Notre Dame to enjoy coffee with the hunchback.

- Get locked up overnight in a chocolate shop.

- Get locked up overnight in a cheese shop.

- Woody Allen calls to ask if I can replace Scarlett Johansson
in his next Paris-based movie.

- Win the final stage of the Tour de France,
beating all the sprinters on the Champs-Elysées.

Then there are the truly silly, cockeyed dreams -- usually involving time travel -- and maybe too much Calvados.....

- Have lunch with Napoleon & Josephine at Le Grand Véfour.  He pays.

- Tell Picasso he got it all wrong in his 'blue' period.

- Sip coffee with Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson at Cafe Procope where I convince them to write a letter to the future Tea Party to clear up their apparent confusion over The American Dream.

- Do the cancan at the Moulin Rouge where
Toulouse-Lautrec BEGS to paint me.

- Twirl Salvador Dali's moustache.

- Ride in a jeep with General Omar Bradley to review the troops
before celebrating the liberation of Paris at the Victory Parade.

- Teach Julia Child how to make a proper omelet.

- Tell jokes and curse with abandon with Hemingway and Buchwald.

- Wipe Cole Porter's tears as he confesses he penned
"It's de-lovely" - for me.

- Cast in gold, I sit alongside Jean d'Arc at Place des Pyramides.

- At the end of my long & fruitful Parisian life, I am buried
in the Pantheon as adoring onlookers sob.

Roy Orbison had it right when he sang Johnny Mercer tune:

Dream, when you're feeling blue
Dream, that's the thing to do
Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air
You'll find your share of memories there

So dream, when the day is through
Dream, and they might come true
Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream

Dream, when the day is through
Dream, and they might come true
Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream


Read more: Roy Orbison - Dream Lyrics | MetroLyrics